Pity Or Compassion?

Spinoza, in these areas, comes very close to the Stoics. His oft-cited condemnation of commiseratio has delighted some and offended others: “Pity, in a man who lives according to the guidance of reason, is evil of itself and useless,” from which “it follows that a man who lives according to the dictates of reason, strives, as far as he can, not to be touched by pity.” What Spinoza is saying here goes to the heart of the matter. Pity is a sadness (born of our imitation of or our identification with the sadness of others), whereas, in fact, it is joy that is good and reason that is just: love and generosity, not pity, should drive us to help our fellowmen. Pity is not necessary. At least not for the wise man, which is to say, for the person who lives “under the sole guidance of reason,” as Spinoza repeatedly says. This pure acceptance of truth, this love without sadness, this lightness, this serene and joyful generosity, aren’t these the very hallmarks of wisdom? But who among us is wise?

- André Comte-Sponville, A Small Treatise On The Great Virtues

pathos |ˈpāˌθäs; -ˌθôs|

noun
a quality that evokes pity or sadness : the actor injects his customary humor and pathos into the role.
ORIGIN mid 17th cent.: from Greek pathos ‘suffering’ ; related to paskhein ‘suffer’ and penthos ‘grief.’

Pathos occurs when bad things happen to good people for reasons unrelated to their character or control. Pathos evokes pity.

Pity is a debased version of compassion. It is a shallow kindness.

To find a renewing source of self-compassion, we need to be less of a victim mired in helplessness. We need to let go of the efforts to make our past better - how we are less accountable, how we are ravished by circumstances, how we are befallen.

Compassion is much easier given to someone in the act of self care. Do you know how to change self-pity into self-compassion?